


The Séance

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24544711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Life was pretty good. Klaus had a stable income, friends and a home (he was still trying to wrap his head around that one. The words ‘Klaus’ and ‘home’ did not fit together.). Sure, he was still struggling, but he found that he didn’t mind that much. He and Ben were closer than ever.And then their dad died. He had always had the worst timing.Or: What if Klaus decided to make a living off his shitty powers? Allison did it, why shouldn’t he? Okay, Allison's powers were more useful for this kinda stuff, but he could try, right?
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 251





	1. Let's get this party started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo, okay. Buckle up kids, this is gonna be a ride. I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

His latest client was a dick. A giant, stuck up dick. And it didn’t help that his dead mom was screaming at Klaus. Yes, he knows your son stole your money. It’s not like you’ve been screaming about it non-stop. Klaus sighed and put his fingers to his temples, feeling a migraine coming up. He toys with the idea of lying to this guy and closing the store but he charged by the hour and to be honest, he really, really needed the money. That skirt he saw wasn’t going to buy itself.

_‘Don’t forget rent. We’re also behind on rent.’_

He shot an annoyed look at Ben and raised an eyebrow _ _. _‘Wait, we are? Shit.’___

Ben looked at him in exasperation and sighed. What an asshole, he didn’t even need to breathe. The only reason he sighed was for dramatic effect.

‘ _ _ _ _ _Yeah. You were going to pay it last week, but then you saw a pink bong and you, quote, ‘Just had to buy it!’.’_____

_______‘Okay, but in my defence; it was a pink bong with little crystals on it. Of course I had to buy it! I couldn’t just walk away!’_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________‘Klaus, you are literally the most irresponsible….’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He didn’t hear the rest of the sentence, as dead ghost mom began a new screaming session. Which reminded him, he should probably go back to this asshole who was ranting about his inheritance. What was his name again? Chad? Chris? He was pretty sure it was something with a C. Probably Chad. He seemed like a Chad.

So, back to Chad. Chad was whining about his inheritance. He apparently thought his mother hid some money away (which she didn’t, she was VERY vocal about the fact that Chad had robbed her of all her money). Fuck this. Scrap the ‘incoming migraine’ thing, this was a full-blown migraine. The last time he had a headache this bad he had woken up in the middle of an office, covered in mustard. He still didn’t know what the hell had happened that night. He had asked Ben, but the bastard just told him some things are better left unknown. Mysterious asshole. He wondered if it came with the whole ghost thing. Maybe ghosts had to be mysterious. It could be a package deal. You die, and then that stupid girl on her dumb red bike would tell you that yes, you could stay in the mortal plane. But there was a catch. You had to either;

a. Scream at a poor, innocent child that just so happened to be able to see you and traumatize him, or;  
b. Haunt your dead brother and be all brooding and mysterious.

Or maybe Ben was just an exception. He should ask Ben. He could ask him now, but Chad was staring at him, finally silent. Klaus shook his head and got back into the conversation.

‘Oh, uh, yeah. About that whole inheritance situation. Funny story, actually. You’re wrong. She doesn’t have any money, you made sure of that. Anyone ever tell you robbing your own mother isn’t really the best plan of action?’

Chad-guy looked at him, dumbfounded. He just opened his mouth and closed it again.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _‘He looks like a fish.’ _,____________ his genius dead brother said.

Klaus snorted. He kind of did.

Chad-man had finally woken up from his trance. ‘How the hell do you know about that?!’

‘Didn’t you read the advert? I can literally talk with ghosts. Your mom is dead. C’mon dude, simple math.’ Mr. Chad started to turn red. Hm, that kind of rhymed. Chad - red. Dead. Shit, his thoughts were wandering off again. Focus, Klaus, focus.

‘So, I’m pretty sure that’s all. Unless you want to know all the creative insults your mother has for you? She’s got quite a lot, let me tell you that. But I’m sure that’s not why you came here. You came here to ask me about the inheritance, and I gave you your answer;’. He propped his feet up on the table and did jazz hands. ‘And surprise surprise! There is none! Wie _unglücklich_.’

Klaus hoped the guy wouldn’t cause a scene. He really didn’t feel like dealing with that right now. And thankfully, he was right. Chad just turned even redder, stood up, put the money on the table and hurried out the door. Klaus lazily waved his goodbye hand at him.

‘Ah, another day of honest work. Brother dear, you must be so proud!’

Ben shot him an unimpressed look. Asshole. He could at least pretend to be nice. He grabbed the money on the table and counted it. It was enough for two large coffees and a donut.

‘Ben, dear, are you thinking what I’m thinking?’

_______________‘I literally can’t think anything else. We’re telepathically connected, dumbass.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

‘It was a rhetorical question, mein lieber Bruder. No need to sass me. That’s just rude.’

Ben snorts _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. _‘Yeah, I am thinking what you’re thinking. Think you can hold me corporeal for long enough to eat a donut?’_________________

‘I would never be so irresponsible. What if you get ghost diabetes? Ghiabetes! I would never forgive myself.’ He put a hand to his forehead and slouched in his chair. ‘Rip Benjamin Hargreeves, aka Number Six, aka Tentacle Man, aka Hentai Dude, aka-’

___________________‘What the fuck Klaus?! Don’t call me Hentai Dude! That’s weird as hell!’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

‘It’s true! You’re literally the star of all tentacle hentai! Don’t you dare deny it! If I could say that about myself, I would tell it to everyone I know. But fine, no Hentai Dude. Guess I’ll stick with Bentacle Tentacle.’

Ben gave him the Look™ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. _'I’m not even going to ask how the hell you came up with that. I don’t want to know.’_____________________

‘Well, I realized you looked a bit like that dude from Ben 10, so I decided on Ben Tentacle, but that sounded wrong, so-’

_______________________‘I literally just said I do not want to know. Please, stop. You’re hurting my brain.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

‘Ben, dear, you’re dead. You don’t have a brain.’

_________________________‘Ouch.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

‘Shut up. We’re getting coffee


	2. Chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boys have coffee and find out about their fathers death. no sadness. fuck Reggie. he doesn't have any rights.

The past year had been a rollercoaster. And that was an understatement. The last year had been a rollercoaster, but the roller coaster was on fire. Also, there were pieces of the track missing. And for some reason King Kong was there, shaking the shit out of the roller coaster. Also, no one had seatbelts. There was an earthquake going on, and it was raining fire. Yeah, you get the point. 

The past year had been the most insane year of his life. And that’s saying something, coming from him. Klaus had discovered some good things about his powers (He could banish ghosts now, and make them corporeal, so that’s cool) and some not-so-fun things (Turns out he could see people’s life force. It wasn’t as cool as it sounded. In fact, it was quite traumatizing.). But overall, he had made more progress than he ever had. He was sober (mostly) and he had friends. 

Friends like Mars. They worked at the coffee shop in the neighbourhood and made the most amazing frappé you would ever taste. And according to Ben they also made a great black coffee, but Klaus would never be caught dead drinking that bullshit. No, all of his drinks had to be either alcoholic or diabetes-inducing. No exceptions. 

‘Mars, love of my life, owner of my heart, the best barista in America, could you please make me a frappé? Extra sugar, of course. Oh, and a black coffee for Ben.’ 

Mars looked at him, unimpressed. 

‘Just because you’re complimenting me doesn’t mean I’ll go faster. Come on, get in line.’ 

Klaus pouted. 

‘You’re mean. I’m your best customer! C’mon, pretty pretty please?’ 

He batted his eyelashes at them and did his best puppy dog eyes. He had heard on multiple occasions that they were impossible to resist. 

‘Ugh, fine. I’ll get you your frappé. But you owe me.’ 

Success. He was a genius. 

‘Come on, Ben. Let’s get a table! I want the one by the window, you can see the television there. I’m pretty sure Property Brothers is on right now, and I don’t want to miss anything.’ 

_‘You only watch the show because they’re hot, you superficial bitch.’_

__Ben was corporeal now, but they still used their telepathic connection, purely out of habit. They also tended to have some weird conversations. And though Klaus didn’t mind the stares, Ben still got uncomfortable with too many eyes on him. So, they sat down at the table and waited for their coffees._ _

__‘The Property Brothers can like, get it. Especially Jonathan. He can renovate me, if you catch my drift.’_ _

__‘Shut up.’_ _

__Klaus grinned. ‘Now that wouldn’t be any fun.’_ _

__Mars arrived with their coffees and two donuts. One strawberry jam, one with sprinkles. ‘The donuts are on the house, boys.’_ _

__‘Mars, you are an actual angel. I love you.’_ _

__‘Don’t mention it. You look like you’ve had a rough day. Annoying customer?’_ _

__Klaus nodded, his mouth full of donut. He murmured something incomprehensible and took a sip of his frappé. It was amazing as always. He and Ben ate their donuts in silence, only broken by the sound of the television._ _

__‘Breaking news! Eccentric billionaire, Reginald Hargreeves, was found dead this morning. He was the founder of the famous Umbrella…’_ _

__Oh. Oh no. Oh fuck no. Ben looked at him with alarm in his eyes. They both waited for the other to speak up. Eventually, Klaus broke the silence._ _

__‘If that fucker haunts me I’m doing heroin again.’_ _

__Ben sputtered. ‘What? No! That’s not… Klaus, no. Not doing that. I was just thinking...’_ _

__‘Dangerous sport for you.’_ _

__‘Shut up. I was thinking, there’s probably going to be a funeral. Do you… think we should go? It’s up to you.’_ _

__Klaus slumped in his chair. He really, really didn’t want to go. He didn’t have the energy to face his siblings. They probably still thought of him as a useless junkie, and he didn’t have the energy to defend himself. He had tried so hard to close that chapter of his life, he didn’t want to start over. On the other hand, they were his siblings. He was a bit curious about their lives. He only ever saw anything about Allison, and that was because the paparazzi recorded her every move._ _

__Ah, fuck it._ _

__‘Let’s go pretend to mourn that fucker. I want my inheritance.’_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit shorter/more chaotic, but im still new to writing :) criticism is appreciated


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus meets up with the fam!!! they're dysfunctional, but whats new

Klaus wasn't freaking out. He was just... nervous. OK, that was a lie. He was freaking the fuck out. The joint he had smoked was helping a bit, but not enough. Weed was the only drug he did nowadays, and he only did it because this was a crisis situation. Even Ben had agreed on that. The weed didn't make the ghosts disappear, but at least they weren't as loud. 

_'You gotta go in eventually. Pacing in front of the door for 15 minutes isn't going to help.´_

'Screw you. I'm hyping myself up. You could help, y' know? Be a nice, supportive ghost brother?'

Ben rolled his eyes. _'No. Someone needs to stop you from doing dumb things._ '

Klaus knew better than to reply to that statement because he agreed. If Ben hadn't stopped him over the years of his shenanigans, he most definitely wouldn't be alive. So, to please his dear brother, he stepped inside. It looked exactly the same as it did all those years ago. He almost expected to hear the mission alarm going off. Instead of the piercing noise of the alarm, it was silent. Eerily so. When he thought back, it was never silent in the house. Not even during dinner, when they weren't allowed to talk. Dad would always play one of those stupid records on survival. Like they would ever need to know how to climb a mountain. 

_'They're in the living room, watching some sort of security tape and arguing.'_

Ah, Ben, his scout. Always spying on the living. 

'Thank you, brother dear. I now know what room to avoid.'

Ben glared at him. 

'Fine, fine. I'll go see them. But if they yell at me, I'm out. You know how sensitive I am.' He batted his eyelashes at Ben, who just scoffed.

As he walked towards the living room he could hear snippets of their conversation. Arguing about Dad, and how he died. Good to see nothing's changed. 

'.... she could be dangerous!' 

'I agree with Luther.'

Klaus didn't need to know what they were agreeing on. Of course Allison agreed with Luther. 

'Don't you guys think we should wait for Klaus?'

Ah, Vanya, bless her soul. She still talked so soft she was barely audible, but at least she thought of him.

Diego scoffed. 'Nah, he's probably passed out in the gutter somewhere. He's not coming.'

Wow, ouch. He was sober, thank you very much. 

_'Are you just gonna keep spying on them? Creepy, dude.'_

Screw you, Ben. He was gonna talk to them.

'Well, Diego, hate to disappoint you, but I'm here.' He stepped around the corner and leaned against the wall. Now he could actually see them. Vanya had changed nothing from the last time he saw here; still tiny and as spicy as a bag of flour. Allison was gorgeous as ever but did look quite tired. Probably because of the whole divorce thing. Diego was still wearing his kinky leather outfit, but he could see there were more holes in it. And Luther... Christ on a fucking cracker. What the fuck happened to Luther? The guy got huge! It was like he was wearing one of those inflatable sumo-outfits! 

_'What the hell? What kind of steroids has Luther been taking?'_ Ben circled around their brother and waved a ghostly hand through his bicep. _'His arms are as big as your head!'_

'Klaus? Oh, uh, wow. We weren't expecting you here, really.'

Ah, Allison's polite way of saying 'how the fuck aren't you dead yet?'

'Allison, I would never pass up on a reunion with my family!'

 _'Liar, liar, pants on fire. Why are you even being nice?'_ Of course it was a lie, they all knew it. 

Luther spoke up. 'What are you even doing here? Come to steal Dad's stuff?'

'What, it's not like he needs it anymore. But no, I'm actually here for the funeral. Will there be snacks? Cucumber sandwiches are always a hit.'

He didn't even need to look at Luther to know that he had that accusing look in his eyes. He always got that look from him. 

'Yeah, sure Klaus. But now that you're actually here, we need you to summon Dad.'

Wait, what? Full stop. Nope, nope nope. Big no to that. Even if he could summon Dad, what if the old fucker stuck around? He couldn't handle seeing those dead eyes, and he definitely couldn't handle all the comments dear old Dad would make; ' _You're my greatest disappointment, number four!'_ or the good old _'Do better!'_. 

While Klaus was silently running over all the possible, horrible options and tried to suppress his panic attack while Ben reassured him, he realized he probably should've said something. But it was a little late for that; Luther had accepted the silence as an answer.

'Jesus, Klaus. Can't you even stay sober for Dad's funeral?'

'Wait, fuck no- I'm sober I swear I-'

Diego slammed a knife into the table.

'Fuck, Klaus. Could you at least try?'

Shit. This was getting out of hand. Ben. He needed Ben.

'Guys, really I'm sober, just ask Ben-'

Milliseconds after he said this, a knife settled into the doorpost right next to him. Klaus flinched and took a few steps forwards, away from the knife. 

'Don't you dare say his name.'

Luther stood up, and fuck did he get big. Now that he stood before Klaus he seemed a hundred times larger than he did before. And he already seemed massive just sitting down.

'Do not drag Ben into your mess. Dad would be disappointed in you. You're still useless, you always have been.' 

Klaus took a few steps back and gripped a chair so tight that his knuckles turned white. Fuck, he could feel the panic rising up from his chest. Luther was right, he was useless. He was a disappointment. He couldn't do anything, he would always be-

_'... Klaus! Hey, Klaus! That's not true. I love you, Mars loves you, you've got tons of friends that love you, and you're amazing. Don't listen to him, he's just an asshole. It's ok, it will be ok.'_

He realized he was almost hyperventilating, and his vision was getting blurry. Shit, was he really having a panic attack over a few words from Luther? God, he was pathetic. 

_'Klaus, that's not true. You know it's not true. You're not pathetic.'_

Apparently somewhere along the way he had turned their mind-link thingy on, and Ben had heard him. Ben was very good at calming him down, and his breathing was already evening out. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Oke. Klaus was back in the game. Or so he thought. Apparently, Luther still wasn't done. The enormous man was still looking at him with resentment in his eyes.

'And you know what? Ben would also be disappointed in you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,,, i'm trying!! i've got so many ideas and not a single clue as to how to write them down. I've got a shit ton of au idea's in me noggin but I know that if I start I'll write multiple chapters fhdhfjkshfjk
> 
> also; full disclaimer: I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing


	4. update :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, uh... it's been a while. my apologies for disappearing on you all. i realized long stories really aren't my thing, I only get short burst of inspiration. So, unfortunately I wont be finishing this story :( 
> 
> (also, someone I know irl found this. and I'm really not comfortable continuing. haha)
> 
> so, I'll be abandoning this account + story :) goodbye everyone!!
> 
> this chapter is just something I wrote for this story. it was after the whole timetravel to Vietnam thing, and its about klaus and dave!

Dave’s POV

If Dave had ever in his life met an angel, it would be Klaus. Wonderful, beautiful, ethereal Klaus. There was just something about him… When he looked at you it was like he could see right through you. Like he knew everything about you, things you didn’t even know about yourself. When he smiled, it was like everything around him lit up. And when he laughed, the sound was like heaven. There were things about Klaus, things that shouldn’t be. Sometimes, it was like he wasn’t human. It was when he would whisper ‘duck’, and half a second later a bullet came whizzing over your head. When they were patrolling and he would tell them it’s an ambush, and the only reason they survived was because of that warning. 

And sometimes, when it was deep in the night and the whole squadron had had a few too many drinks, Klaus would say things. Things he shouldn’t know. He’d tell you that your ma was proud of you and that she wanted you to take care of your sister. 

But there was an edge to Klaus. There were times when Dave knew that Klaus couldn’t be an angel. It was when Klaus would come back from a mission as the sole survivor, covered in blood. It was when Klaus would find a specific soldier on the battlefield and kill them slowly and whisper to himself ‘Are you happy now? He’s dead. He’s fucking dead.’. When Klaus would smile with a hint of madness in his eyes, just before running out on the battlefield knowing he wouldn’t survive. But he did. He always survived.

Klaus was a mystery. No one knew his last name. No one knew where he was from. But they knew how he would speak to a dying soldier. They knew how he would laugh at Andersons jokes, no matter how bad they were. Klaus was a mystery that shouldn’t be solved, and Dave loved him. He never wanted to figure Klaus out. He would never be able to. But he still loved to try.


End file.
